What am I going to do…like literally?

Good morning, afternoon, evening, where ever you are. Where I am its 7 AM and i’m literally up thinking about my life and my “purpose” early this morning. I’m at that weird age and stage of my life where you feel like your just “here” and haven’t really found out what it is that I want to do with my life. Like really, have you ever just thought to yourself “What in the hell am I here for?”. You have your photographers, your rappers, your singers, your fashionistas, your make-up artist, the list goes on. But where do I fit?

Lately I’ve been slowly learning more and more about myself. My likes and dislikes, my little hobbies that i’m interested in (like blogging) but I fall off here and there *sigh*, again WTH am I here for!? I know what your thinking “you don’t know your likes and dislikes already”? Listen, when you get to age 26 you realize those things you once loved and couldn’t get enough of, well you will get enough of and the taste buds in fact DO change.

Am I writer? I mean don’t get me wrong I was never the person in school getting super excited when the teacher said “Are you guys excited for the new topic we’re writing about this week?”…..

But I’m almost certain I do enjoy writing about what “I” like to write about. I also have a niche for music. I was a singer for almost all my life in church, chorus and even was in a show choir!

I know right. Yes, I was in a full blown show choir for 3 years of my high school career and I absolutely loved every single year of it because I enjoyed performing! But I could never see my ready to be 2 babies deep, full grown woman (add like 40 more pounds from high school), with a whole husband and all performing on a stage again. So yet again here I am, WTH am I here for?!

I’m seriously perplexed. Like I feel so overwhelmed and feeling like i’m loosing time because I haven’t figured it out yet. I’m seeing everyone doing SOMETHING and yet I feel like I’m doing nothing, and don’t get me started on what I’ve been told. “Oh your a mother your doing A LOT of something” or “You are the woman of the house your doing something good everyday”. Yea, this maybe true but I want to do something for myself. No mom likes to hear about how shes “Such a MOM” like we don’t already know!

Sometimes us “Moms” want to be viewed as something else other then being a mom and/or wife all the time. What about me? Without the obvious titles, without the everyday chores that most of the time are overlooked and under appreciated because its seriously “WHAT I’M SUPPOSE TO DO”! I want to find my purpose, what is it that I can do that would be viewed as unique and awesome about my own self? Well on to my journey of finding my “purpose” until next time….

Through D A N C E

I’ve been trying to think of ways to loose weight. Through the Gym? Through meal prep? Keep diet? But I want to enjoy it, ugh! What can I do!? Well, there was those days when you would jump around in the kitchen floor actin as if you were a ballerina or hip hop movie. Who said you have to give up on your true spirit animal just because life got in the way? Lets lose weight through D A N C E! I’ve always enjoyed dancing but it’s seems that when I graduated high school, became an adult, got married and had babies, life just got in the way. I gave up on those things, thinking it could never be. Although I lay secretly in bed starring at dance YouTube videos like playground La. I miss dancing 😩. I miss feeling free and loose, free spirit. But more importantly it kept me in shape then, so I know I could snap back with dancing now. I have the time, I just need the resources. Looking like 2019 will start off with #OperationFindchoreographer