What am I going to do…like literally?

Good morning, afternoon, evening, where ever you are. Where I am its 7 AM and i’m literally up thinking about my life and my “purpose” early this morning. I’m at that weird age and stage of my life where you feel like your just “here” and haven’t really found out what it is that I want to do with my life. Like really, have you ever just thought to yourself “What in the hell am I here for?”. You have your photographers, your rappers, your singers, your fashionistas, your make-up artist, the list goes on. But where do I fit?

Lately I’ve been slowly learning more and more about myself. My likes and dislikes, my little hobbies that i’m interested in (like blogging) but I fall off here and there *sigh*, again WTH am I here for!? I know what your thinking “you don’t know your likes and dislikes already”? Listen, when you get to age 26 you realize those things you once loved and couldn’t get enough of, well you will get enough of and the taste buds in fact DO change.

Am I writer? I mean don’t get me wrong I was never the person in school getting super excited when the teacher said “Are you guys excited for the new topic we’re writing about this week?”…..

But I’m almost certain I do enjoy writing about what “I” like to write about. I also have a niche for music. I was a singer for almost all my life in church, chorus and even was in a show choir!

I know right. Yes, I was in a full blown show choir for 3 years of my high school career and I absolutely loved every single year of it because I enjoyed performing! But I could never see my ready to be 2 babies deep, full grown woman (add like 40 more pounds from high school), with a whole husband and all performing on a stage again. So yet again here I am, WTH am I here for?!

I’m seriously perplexed. Like I feel so overwhelmed and feeling like i’m loosing time because I haven’t figured it out yet. I’m seeing everyone doing SOMETHING and yet I feel like I’m doing nothing, and don’t get me started on what I’ve been told. “Oh your a mother your doing A LOT of something” or “You are the woman of the house your doing something good everyday”. Yea, this maybe true but I want to do something for myself. No mom likes to hear about how shes “Such a MOM” like we don’t already know!

Sometimes us “Moms” want to be viewed as something else other then being a mom and/or wife all the time. What about me? Without the obvious titles, without the everyday chores that most of the time are overlooked and under appreciated because its seriously “WHAT I’M SUPPOSE TO DO”! I want to find my purpose, what is it that I can do that would be viewed as unique and awesome about my own self? Well on to my journey of finding my “purpose” until next time….

2 thoughts on “What am I going to do…like literally?

  1. Stacey Davis

    I’m there with you! I’ve been fighting this quite a bit lately – wondering what I’m supposed to be doing, feeling super invisible and agonizingly ordinary. I live in the suburbs, have an office job, and have two kids at home and a very boring, ordinary vehicle. I have been looking back at stages of my past where I drove a much more fun car (irresponsible, even), had an adventurous hair-do, no children, a more fun job. Now that my life has changed and I’ve hit my mid-30’s…what is my purpose now? What I thought it was back a few years ago can’t have been it, otherwise life wouldn’t have shifted as it has. My dad told me something about a year ago that I sometimes have to remind myself: Sometimes our purpose IS NOT meant to be anything grand. Maybe it’s just to be that smile to a stranger at the store, maybe it’s just to be kind to the people that need it – a helping hand to someone in despair.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love the advice your dad has given you and I had never thought of it like it! Maybe it’s the times that we are living in that makes us feel like we NEED to be doing SOMETHING amazing! Thank you for your comment and support, I appreciate it ☺️❤️

      Like

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